18.3.11

Marriage and Love

If you try to analyze the context of a home, you'll find different values that seem to be not obvious. These things lie on the context of a real home existing, where love for each other binds the strength of the family.

But as time goes by, people come to complain a lot. Husbands, for example, complain that their wives are not able suffice their sexual demands. Wives, in return, contest that they're already assuming the paternal responsibility and they can't accept that external obligatory exchanges.

Either way, do all these things couple to the fact that love is stained in the context of marriage? For when couples took their oath to love one another for the rest of their lives, why is love seemingly a diminishing value as marriage continues? Is it really true that there is a measure of what love is? For when history told us that marriage is the ultimate manifestation of your love for that person, why are cases of legal separation in an all time high? Or is love in marriage solely bounded by the legal framework and the use of which is to formalize a social norms that are flexed on the societal acceptance?

When exactly, can we really say that the person we love today is the person really intended for us for the rest of our lives? When this generation has an ultimate tolerance of relationship hopping, why is emotional investment to anyone seem to be a very simple thing for other people to do?

This is life. The sad reality is, despite all the efforts to keep people we wanna treasure in our lives, everyone can hold to their very own discretion. There are choices that we think are best for ourselves, yet most choices are predetermined by social acceptance. In the context of marriage, choices are shared and discussed together most especially if these decisions affect the entire family. If only one party assumes the decision for the rest of the family, it's not going to be a successful marriage. Because monopoly breeds war in marital relationships. 

Inside the frame of marriage, transitional feelings do evolve. The first thing that you feel is love. But beyond that, you need to concede that it's also a matter of lust. Yet love must overcome that longing for physical intimacy,because marriage and love is more than that. But don't undermine its value. It's one of those things that keep you together. 

During marriage, there's an evolution to the feelings that you feel towards your partner. There's a shift towards assumption of responsibility and commitment, not just towards yourselves, but towards society as well. It means that such love is also the love to take the entire responsibility that comes at the cost of pledging that you want to be with that person for the rest of your life. 

But does this automatically dwindle the love you have for that person? The "should-be" answer to that is no. 

Love is when you totally accept a person for who he is, not just on the happy times, but on times when both of you have to bleed for the greater good. It shouldn't be bounded by ages. Holistic acceptance is never encompassed by time. Furthermore, it must be never be stringed with materialism.

The moment you started paying attention to a person, you judge him based on his physical attributes. The next acquaintances are all about getting to know each other. Any negative aspect must be overwhelmed if the feeling is real and genuine.

But love is not as shallow as a physical judgment or a stream in the narrow pile. It has its own depths and problems are just challenges to test the reality of that love. 

One of the biggest choices a person will make for himself, if it isn't, is the choice of which person to marry. Imagine living the rest of your life with a single person, 'till death do you part.That alone badly needs not just double-thinking but thousand times of intuition feeling. If you feel that's it. If you feel like you wanna ennd up with that person for the rest of your life, then fight for it. Because marriage is not a game with an easy escape. You need to live with that commitment. 

1 comment:

  1. yea it's true, the bottomline is life is simply what you make it

    ReplyDelete

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