writing fo sanity sake

this makes sense. because i remembered the time i had my last entry here in my blog when i eel like i'm gonna lose my sanity for being drowned with a lot of problems.
now this has to be changed.
i have to blog because i'm folding another chapter of my life.
this isn't a graduation but gratefully, my 2 years in college has finally ended.
another 3 years to look to for my endeavours in college to come to an end.

well,i must have been so grateful now because i've gained friends.
friends who would find a space for help whenever you're in need.
people who are willing to talk to you on you moments of depression.
and now the time has come for a space to set off.

life is all about knowing people. getting emotionally attached with some of them and get left behind. or maybe that you want to leave because you want that person to think of you and say you're a treasure she should have kept.but if it's all about that, why would other people jus settle in their places then?others face defeats and are willing to let go.there are some who just want to find anyone else and make tha person a part of his past. why do we look a things on a very temporal level especially on the backwards that we have and only think of the mileage we get when we choose to cover up what we truly feel?well so much for those sucking emotions. still hen, in my 18 years of stay in this world,i don't think so i would have a leverage to talk about love.i's a word that i don't fully understand.

talking more on the greater perspective,what could have been my plans then for the next semester?or maybe for the next acad year?for sure, it's all about new subjects because i'm through with csm subjects then(if i'm not gonna fail physics and is lab,which i really really suck at).i just hope i can be a better student.and maybe a better person for myself. anyways,there is this sucking ideology in me that to feel better as a person is, i have to spend so much for myself that day regardless of the constraints.and i think his is the same reason why i'm reproaching myself each and everytime that i should have been any better in terms of how i manage my money.well, it has been a laning for years. ever since 2nd year high school ,i'm managing my own money and lived quite independent, away from home and almost near to hell.

i actually scanned my books just lately(when i started to clean my place and leave for home, studies must be over this week), and i found a note stating my long term goals in life.that's why i'm always saying i must not be sick atop from being so busy. actually, if i try to think of it, everything seemed to be a total crap. but no one can ever be a jerk of thinking how he sees himself maybe 10 years form now.we never knew.time uns too fast these days.and i'm finding myself with so much obligations to do. I'm predisposed of believing that 'stairrcases are built in the bottom, and no at the top.this seemed to be so random then. i must be bored now.

i forgot to take myself a pic lately these days.people would really realize how big dark holes form below my eyes during exam week.well, i still believe that the silly exams that we have should'nt be the greater basis of the grades. but on certain cases, it's better especially if i love the subject so much.or maybe that i just hae physics so much that i cant't afford to bring in my study material in exams actuality. there was a very big story behind this. because i love physics 31 so much. i like the study on lenses and diffraction gratings, and all the like but just then, physics 41 is just too naive. the problem here in philippines is we can't address the problems that we have now because we're overshadowed by cronyism.(**oh god, i'm tired, i'll continue this..after sunlights)

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