It's Christmas month.

And obviously this month,I really get excited.
I am now even excited to go home.
Well seems like, I'm dropping random thoughts in my recent blog posts.
So maybe, I could include it in my resolution to write more personal blogs that really includes pictures and all those things. That would be more interesting. So that you would know me better.

For those who don't blog,blogging for me is a very effective tool to normalize your emotions. Though, I must say, emotions at times which are confidential in nature, we could always choose to filter the information that we would want to share.
And ever since I knew how to write, I just love writing.
Most especially free writing, the one I'm doing right now.

So what am I gonna do next year?I actually have a lot of plans already.
Things that I'm going to share once it happened already.
Of course, the first outlet, is the blog.

Currently, I feel like I'm quite detached from my academics. And it's absurd because this is the usual feeling that I used to feel each and every time. I wouldn't want to study either. This is so different when I used to be in high school.Maybe because my lifestyle has changed already. I have different set of interests nowadays. Either ways, I think lifestyle should be changed into a better one. Something that integrates studying into my system. Another thing is the body clock. Well,I still believe in what Reader's Digest said, that if you do a certain thing repetitively for 30 days, your body will tell you to do that thing without your mind dictating you to do so for the next months. That's exactly how habits are formed.

I'm quite tired writing, just have to finish the SUSI essay.But I promise to finish this before Noches.



this days have been quite too tiring.
everyday just seemed to be so restless.
every time i wake up in the morning, i wished i could have slept more.
but i can't.
because i have a lot of things to do.
yet things that are left undone in the end.
maybe because i've got myself something new to do.
something which enticed me to do it first over the other.
maybe there's a fruit of wrong prioritization there.
or maybe because i'm just pathetic enough to make it look like i can really do everything though in reality i can't.
days have been passing by.
and seems like anyone who wishes to drag me down is succeeding.
because as you would know, my weakness is the people around me who i used to treasure.
which by the way is the reason why i make it as much as possible that nay relationship is done with no feelings attached.
purely professionalism.
shallow as it is.
but i've matured enough from the past.
and i'm not the one who used to care,


Life this semester

I want to write something, maybe of random thoughts quite off to what happened this semester.

Let's start with the month of June. Obviously, start of classes and I could remember so well that I am very peace-oriented these days.Why?Because days pa lang 'yan after the Youth Initiative for Peace Conference 2010.Masaya ang conference except one thing which I can never publish here.We're taking our majors then and it was really a total shift from the usual academic load that we are taking back when we were still sophomores.But more than that, we also have new classmates, new acquaintance friends.

Since nasabi ko na naman ang acquiantance friends. I'll start talking in random thoughts.I have grave realizations these recent days about friendship.Maybe, If someone would ask me to define friendship, it would be totally different from the usual definitions that we have for it.MYSELF IS MY ONLY REAL FRIEND. I badly want to contest na it's unfair naman siguro to set my standards on what friendship should be. What if the person you assumed to be your friend has a different definition of friendship?Should that mean I am going to reject my friend's ideals and maybe question our friendship just because iba ung standard nang friendship mo sa kanya?

So much for that issue.Let's talk about fiscal matters. This semester is like a roller coaster ride. Kasi naman, parang all my financial stability plans nagfla-fluctuate. Pero ung major wins, I got 2 work this semester and earned reasonable amount.Regular ung scholarship allowance at ung allowanc from my parents.Plus, Tita gave me big amount of money. And I also won 2k from an essay writing contest.

But what about the losses?Major loss ung kamahalan ng dormitory. And this is the most major(apparently, hindi ko alam kung merong ganyan na phrase), I lost a cheque worth 5k.At meron pang gastos sa rebooking fees at mga bagay na 'yan .Kung merong hari ng LESSON LEARNED, ako 'yan palagi at nagagawa ko xa recursively (paulit-ulit) ang mga LESSON LEARNED.

I am planning to go to Singapore or Hongkong this Summer.hahaha.Kahit na maraming financial loss,afford pa naman. So what am I gonna do,SAVE SAVE SAVE.

so much for that. I have just finished exams yesterday kaya naman I am here updating the blog. I wanna write next time a good article about different issues, siguro sa Christmas break kasi busy pa ako this sembreak. I will be joining the National Debate Championship and 8th National Youth Parliament!!!

Ang dami na ng opportunties sa mundo.I will become a BETTER person each and everyday.


inner peace,the coping mechanism

We could have made a thousand different choice if only we knew what the consequences were in the every first place.

I think everyone has a unique way of coping with life challenges. Ultimately, we're saying that the right way to deal with a problem is when we will be able to contrast our action with how other people dealt with it.But what about having a very unique problem and you get to end like being the learning experience for others.

Recently, I've realized how we shouldn't rest with mediocrity. Well, I must say in the very first place, I am an extremist. Not extreme in a way that you're going to place yourself purely departed from others. Extremity in this context would mean you will not just be contented with sitting in classrooms, doing the usual routine you get to do every day. What you need to do is to make a color in life. Something which is not dictated with what they want you to do but something that is pure in heart and is bounded with rational reason why you're doing it.


life disclosed with imaginations

In this world of ours, we couldn't just stop asking ourselves what more can we do with this life. It's full of displaced attention, elsewhere rejections, anonymous disguises tring to be a hero but an enemy in the dark. Maybe, if jealousy and insecurity is not present in this world, there wouldn't be any chaos at all.Or maybe if it was a thing that was never triggered by someone, the want to be another person as you were isn't there to begin with.

Just this morning, I went to the Church. It has been 5 months since I last went there and I just found myself walking towards its direction. Whatever it may be that lead me in the place, I thank him. Because I feel satisfied, answered, heard and listened. I confess, I am not a church guy. I rarely go to Church, but why is there a feeling of indifference when you talk to God. Maybe because when I go to his haven, I come to stop. Realize things that I couldn't realize when I am in any other place because I'm predisposed of believing that I have so many other things to do yet. I left the place happily and forgot all the problems in this world for a moment.

Then I've seen my friends calling me in the other side of the road. I intently came back so that I could come on their place but they crossed the road as well, so that by the time I am in their place,they were in the other side already. But i never got irritated at all. They waited for me and asked me if I would come with them. But I hesitated because I'm going to take my lunch yet.I arrived in the dormitory and tried to compile different photocopies, thinking that even if hate photocopies in reality, I would have to love it because the books are far expensive. I remember last week I was quite complaining that if only I have books, I would have been any better study whore material. But things has to be accepted. In this world of ours, we are predestined instruments. We come to live by with what has been given to us. I think there's nothing so wrong accepting what we are. What's so wrong is when we try to pretend as someone we aren't. I cannot do that and I hope people would realize that as well.

Just a minute ago, I made a time management plan and I'm happy about it. Tomorrow I'm gonna do something like it because it's going to invigorate me to be somehow energetic as things were a lot planned than the recent days.Yesterday, I just love the way people are talking to me seriously. Like how I view things. LT told me yesterday I should give some kind of credit for myself. I shouldn't view myself as someone who is small fish swimming in a pond of shame. Maybe it's true. The way people think about what we are is also reflective of who we truly are. I am pessimist. I always look humiliating myself always, but nevertheless, I've changed now.

Well,I've written so much already. I just thought of adding something to my blog since it's been a month since my last entry. I was quite busy these recent days but hopefully, I will be able to write regularly. It's my best way of relaxation, I tell you.



today and where i am

everyday is difficult if we always look for a better life.they say, we only start a good life when we stop aspiring for the better one, maybe true. time fades so fast that i haven't even noticed, it's already over. it was like a dream that i've long waited for. and when it came into reality, all i wanted is for me not to get awakened at all.

in every angle i realize, there's so much to compare.maybe it's a natural human reaction for those who are left behind by the reality. maybe because i'm predisposed of believing that life here sucks a lot that i aspire to learn on new environments.or maybe that my premium to intolerance is so high that content is not enough to make me still.

why do i look at things on a very temporal level especially on the downsides that i have that i only see the benefit of leaving and not really the greater issue i stay for any longer to begin with?

happiness, in and of itself, doesn't end to satisfaction. it only ends to meritorious moment with people who may leave at anytime. he cycle of knowing a certain person and the end of another is the most explicit balance mechanism that life brings about.

but if we try to look at the eyes of a child, it's only limitation is for survival. and the moment that consciousness is imbued on him, it goes beyond whims and caprices. you see a lot of plans that you never know where will it bring him.

the bottom line principle is, what we believe today is very relative. we may not even notice how fast our beliefs fade. and what we aspire to be now is the fruit of the maturity that we've gone through the years. on certain instances, we reproach ourselves for engaging into a constructive act. but we're left behind with choices and our only rationality is to stay within the small room of discretion and look forward for its end.and i think this is where i am today.

biodiversity:adjacent to human survival

Today, as we feel the various effects of climate change, we realize the importance of biodiversity. In every aspect of human life, there’s an angle of significance that we see as it maintains the balance in our environment.
Soil erosion, as it leads to grave problems like landslides, floods and mudflow has been an immediate concern nowadays. This is one of the many problems that deforestation poses and how human survival is contingent to threatening biodiversity. Many environmental groups and green activists were fighting for causes that educate the people how illegal logging would harm lives. But if you try to look at it on another angle, the bottom line principle is preservation and conservation. We preserve existing wild forests that we have by planting trees corollary to our consumption through logging, and conserve even by minimal practices like recycling used papers. Because if only biodiversity is maintained , we’re able to strike a balance between human survival and preservations of our ecosystems and we will be able to prevent problems like landslides and other unprecedented phenomena that end lives.
On shoreline acquisitions like destroying coral reefs just to make new seaports, we witness how there’s a glaring growth in the number of endangered species in the seas. Or having red tides and fishes dying in the surface because of overpopulation of planktons that vie for oxygen. All these things are caused by humans. Whenever we have these red tides, obviously we have lesser fishes to consume and many fishermen and their families were affected as well. But if biodiversity is given of primordial importance, the exchange of gases is maintained and no life forms will be put at risk.
Indeed, biodiversity is very important. The climate change that we have now is caused by human’s unwise use of biodiversity as a tool for change and advancement. And corollary to this, its preservation brings about a lot of benefits. T makes life sustainable by achieving consumption ends that are just necessary to meet our existing needs as well as to leave something for the future generation.
The food that we eat, the air that we breathe, the land that we live, every human aspect is linked to biodiversity. And every life that counts, is bound to know its significance.


i left my heart in japan

mama,natsumi.me(gab),kaito and papa.
the best family in japan.
i miss them so much.
i hope they will be fine.
it was a nice stay.
i will never forget you.

Everyday is like a dream
with the best people in the world


writing fo sanity sake

this makes sense. because i remembered the time i had my last entry here in my blog when i eel like i'm gonna lose my sanity for being drowned with a lot of problems.
now this has to be changed.
i have to blog because i'm folding another chapter of my life.
this isn't a graduation but gratefully, my 2 years in college has finally ended.
another 3 years to look to for my endeavours in college to come to an end.

well,i must have been so grateful now because i've gained friends.
friends who would find a space for help whenever you're in need.
people who are willing to talk to you on you moments of depression.
and now the time has come for a space to set off.

life is all about knowing people. getting emotionally attached with some of them and get left behind. or maybe that you want to leave because you want that person to think of you and say you're a treasure she should have kept.but if it's all about that, why would other people jus settle in their places then?others face defeats and are willing to let go.there are some who just want to find anyone else and make tha person a part of his past. why do we look a things on a very temporal level especially on the backwards that we have and only think of the mileage we get when we choose to cover up what we truly feel?well so much for those sucking emotions. still hen, in my 18 years of stay in this world,i don't think so i would have a leverage to talk about love.i's a word that i don't fully understand.

talking more on the greater perspective,what could have been my plans then for the next semester?or maybe for the next acad year?for sure, it's all about new subjects because i'm through with csm subjects then(if i'm not gonna fail physics and is lab,which i really really suck at).i just hope i can be a better student.and maybe a better person for myself. anyways,there is this sucking ideology in me that to feel better as a person is, i have to spend so much for myself that day regardless of the constraints.and i think his is the same reason why i'm reproaching myself each and everytime that i should have been any better in terms of how i manage my money.well, it has been a laning for years. ever since 2nd year high school ,i'm managing my own money and lived quite independent, away from home and almost near to hell.

i actually scanned my books just lately(when i started to clean my place and leave for home, studies must be over this week), and i found a note stating my long term goals in life.that's why i'm always saying i must not be sick atop from being so busy. actually, if i try to think of it, everything seemed to be a total crap. but no one can ever be a jerk of thinking how he sees himself maybe 10 years form now.we never knew.time uns too fast these days.and i'm finding myself with so much obligations to do. I'm predisposed of believing that 'stairrcases are built in the bottom, and no at the top.this seemed to be so random then. i must be bored now.

i forgot to take myself a pic lately these days.people would really realize how big dark holes form below my eyes during exam week.well, i still believe that the silly exams that we have should'nt be the greater basis of the grades. but on certain cases, it's better especially if i love the subject so much.or maybe that i just hae physics so much that i cant't afford to bring in my study material in exams actuality. there was a very big story behind this. because i love physics 31 so much. i like the study on lenses and diffraction gratings, and all the like but just then, physics 41 is just too naive. the problem here in philippines is we can't address the problems that we have now because we're overshadowed by cronyism.(**oh god, i'm tired, i'll continue this..after sunlights)
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